Phoenix AZ

good ole Scottsdale

pool side

The Hoover Dam

Currently kickin' up my heels in the States with my folks. Riding their coat tails down to a warmer locale in snow-bird fashion. We flew into Las Vegas and did a little road trip down to Phoenix for a few days of warmth and rest. 

Our first stop was something out of the movies- the Hoover Dam (originally Boulder Dam) 

Built from 1931 to 1936 its quite the amazing feat of construction. I don't really get how they did it but I'll do some more research on that. 

We drove across and checked out some look outs looking back at the dam. Then my dad dropped us and mom and I walked back over- the water level is quite low, the evidence quite visual in a line cut across the banks of lake Mead. 

For me, best known from Superman and later from Fools Rush In- the latter in a scene where the two lovers meet in the middle of the dam spanning two states: Nevada and Arizona. That border and others like that- (I'm looking at you Washington and Oregon)  are pretty cool. It's the kind of thing movies are made of. 

love

I couldn't decide if this post should be called wanting to love love or trying to love love. Perhaps a bit of both. 

I am in a place where I have moments equal of repulsion and wistful feelings towards love. I shudder when I see or read someone's social media and talk talk talk about their husband. However, this is currently upstaged by longing for a good old fashioned highschool-esk make out session with a crush. Sigh. 

Somewhere in this, recently I am drawn to hearts. Big, over the top, neon, shout it from the roof top traditional hearts as the epitome of a symbol of love. I have not wanted a single heart anything probably since I was 10. I'm confused by this recent resurgence in my own heart, for hearts. I ask myself: are hearts the new polka dot?

I want to love love. I really do. And as I embrace these images and items I've decided my rational is that if I am surrounded by these tokens, and reminders, and strive towards the love that is what it should be. To me. 

In the meantime I love the retail therapy

And quite possibly the best visual solution ever to my love/hate/love feelings- a bag that allows me to embrace both- same time. I present the double sided heart tote: In red for the traditional optimist, and then reverse for the days that I live with my black, black, black, black heart.

barter

You have no idea how many times I bartered away everything to the powers that be so that I could have you. All my possessions. All my riches. My life. All my love. I asked time and time again, but my wager was never enough. I offered up my very soul, to which I was granted a small token- that I might only have a glimpse of you from time to time. It was more than I could have hoped for and yet something so difficult I could hardly bear. But I willingly settled upon that, so that I had something of you.

"If you look closely, you can actually pinpoint the exact moment her heart breaks in two" 

Bart Simpson