Friday, January 31, 2014
Tuesday, January 7, 2014
I save things that I think are important. I save things with memories. I save things that are special. I save things for a rainy day.
I had this bracelet, which I'd been saving. I bought it years ago when I got engaged, while in Japan. In Kyoto. I didn't get a ring at the time and so maybe that's why I hoarded it in a loving way and never wore it. Just saving and saving and saving it. And years went by, and he didn't love me and everything ended. And then I still didn't wear it. I couldn't wear it.
It was beautiful and simple and funnily suits me much more now than it ever did before.
I decided it was the New Years to wear it- it actually didn't really match the outfit that I chose but I had to wear it. For only the second time ever I put it on. It was 2013. I looked at it numerous times throughout the night. I touched it. A touchstone. I thought about Japan. I thought about all the pain. I thought about what jewelry represents. To some. To me. I danced. I thought about people I loved. I was with someone I love. I drank. I laughed. It sparkled. I could almost see my reflection. I smiled. I was smiling.
It was 2014. I reached out for something and my wrist was naked. There was nothing there. It was gone. The past was gone. I'm standing there with nothing and everything all at once.
Monday, January 6, 2014
Sunday, January 5, 2014
Christmas on the coast was different, but beautiful in its own way. It was nice to see my family, and be together but I'm still the only one shedding a tear about PG. I missed the snow, and seeing all my friends and getting to the usual spots. I'm glad to see my parents getting settled.